Day Four through Eight

Today is Day Eight. It is actually not as hard as I thought it would be, cutting out TV from my life. Until I get bored, and then I really sort of want to just flip on a movie or something, but so far, I've been able to resist with minimum struggle.

I realize it's been a few days, obviously, since an update. I do post small updates to my twitter account, @msalfrank, if you want to also follow me there. But, in case you DID miss it, here is waht you missed:

Day 4: Family BBQ and then to my friend's house, where we hung out at her in-law's pool. It was sort of a bi-polar day, as I felt really social and stuff for a while--I mean, I was double booked! That never happens to me! But I also sort of felt like an outsider. A few of their friends were there too, and while we got along fine (I've met them before) I sort of felt out of place as I have nothing in common with any of them. Also, they were drinking and I wasn't (A-I don't drink beer and B-I had to drive home later) which always tends to make it harder.

But all in all, a good day. I got to wear my cute new dress I got while shopping sidewalk sales with Nichole from Day 3. It is always fun to wear cute new outfits! Although, I did have an unhappy run in with a spider in my closet who was trying to hitch a ride on my jacket. Not cool, Spidey. He was sentenced to a very violent death via swiffer-smashing.

Day 5: I made casserole. I totally made it up as I went, involving some zucchini and hash browns, ground turkey, cream of mushroom soup and some corn... It actually turned out quite well! I am actually fairly impressed with my cooking skills. My abilities with zucchini have greatly improved! Did I ever tell you about the Lemon Zucchini bread I made? A HUGE hit! (Get the recipe here!)

Day 6: That night I got in a writing streak! It felt so good to finally break my writer's block, you have no idea! Well, maybe you might. I don't know really know you. Anyway, I had so much fun writing, I got seven pages done in a night and only stopped because it was getting late and I needed to go to bed (Having an adult job and all). FYI, 7 pages at once is a big deal for me!

This also happened to be the night I ate a can of refried beans for dinner. I was too lazy to make anything, and I'd had leftovers for lunch, so....beans. I wanted to eat it with tortilla chips, but I was out, so I slathered it onto a flour tortilla and had a bean burrito. Then proceeded to finish off the rest of them with a spoon...I have an obsession for refried beans.

Because, let's face it, bow ties are cool. 

Day 7: Yesterday I made some DIY Doctor Who tees for myself. I had been perusing the world wide web, and was completely tempted to buy another DW t-shirt. I resisted only because I

My Doctor Who iron-on t-shirts. 

realized I could probably design my own shirt and do a design I really like, personalized and all. So after work, I headed over to Wal-mart and bought some men's t-shirts (the cheap kind in the underwear aisle) and some iron-transfers and went to town.

Back story: I've been missing my printer cables ever since I moved back in May. I finally found them the other day while searching for a proper pool bag (Day 4) so I was excited to be able to use my finally-working printer for a new project! I had a few issues with the iron-ons, and I only did 2 of the 4 shirts I had, but all in all, I am happy with my results!

Day 8: I bought a necklace from Etsy a while back (a gold elephant necklace I am really excited about) and, after travelling all the way from Korea, today it finally arrived! A little finessing with a extender chain (it hung more like a choker on me than a necklace. I guess Koreans have smaller necks?) and its wonderful! It is adorable and delicate, just like I wanted. Perfect. I love Etsy.

Also, I am cooking a teriyaki pork loin in the oven as we speak. I just checked on it, and I think it needs a little more time. It was looking a little pink and stuff, and I don't think pork works the same way as beef. I think it's more like chicken: pink = bad. I am pairing it with some jasmine rice and broccoli for a cheap/fake version of chinese-ish. Whatever you want to label it, I think it is going to be delicious.

All in all, its going well.

Except...

Well, I recently found out that my favorite show (Doctor Who) is going to be releasing Season 8 to Netflix soon, and, as luck would have it, it is reported to do so on August 8th which happens to be my 25th birthday. Normally, I would be over the moon about this! I mean, come on! Doctor Who Season 8! On 8-8! Clever AND its like a little birthday gift to me from the universe! It couldn't get more perfect! I mean, I've been waiting for season 8 since...well, since it first aired! So finally having it available on instant stream is beyond exciting! (Can you tell from my excessive use of exclamation points?)

The only problem is that it falls right in the middle of my 101-day challenge. Terrible timing, Doctor. Seriously. It falls on Day 17 to be exact. While I have made an option for one movie a day, it does not include TV shows. I feel like if I try to count an episode as 1 movie (or 1/2 a movie if you go by time) it is really like cheating. And if I watch one episode of Doctor Who, I'm going to want to watch them all. It's like Pringles that way. Once you pop you just can't stop.

Its like fate is laughing at me. Oh? You want to give up TV? Here, let me throw this wrench in your way! Dodge that! It is going to be extremely hard to avoid that temptation that day, and the days following. I will have one more reason to count down the days until November 1st, when I will officially be done with my challenge.

I try to keep telling myself it will still be there when I'm done with this. It isn't going to kill me to wait a few weeks--84 days to be exact. It's a test of my will power, I know, and it makes me want to give in and power through all at the same time! My will power is going bi-polar...

But you know that feeling, when you have wanted something bad for SO long that when you finally get it you just have to have it that second? The box is ripped open and you want to use it immediately (or wear it or whatever you do with the prized possession.) That is how I feel about this Doctor Who thing.

But I have to stay strong! I am going to have to distract myself that day, get myself out of the house and away from the TV altogether, or I feel I might give in, and tell myself its okay to make one tiny exception... Hopefully, being my birthday, it won't be too hard to find someone to distract me for awhile (Calling all friends!)

I really have no other plan for the foreseeable future for this challenge thing, though. I don't have any other set goals or anything I want to accomplish besides going without TV. So far, I've been working on the premise of doing something every day that makes me happy -- for the sole purpose and reason that it makes me happy. No strings, no guilt, no shame. Just being happy.

I think, however, that I should have a few smaller goals along the way. I was thinking something like mini-challenges, like completing two entire projects from start to finish, or writing 3 short stories, or submitting my work into at least 2 different places. Okay, so maybe I've thought about this a little...

Anyway, I'd really appreciate some advice and ideas on this one. What do you think would be cool for me to do and/or accomplish? Nothing expensive or off-the-wall crazy (well, maybe a little off-the-wall-crazy is good) but I really, truly, want to hear from you! So... Go!

Day Two and Three

I almost did it today. I almost turned on the TV. It wasn't really a matter of weakness, but of habit. I'm not sure which is worse.

My weekend schedule is always the same. I wake up late (really late). I weigh myself, usually unhappy with the number I see, and then I eat. Typically whatever is readily available. Today it was frozen zucchini rolls. While they were heating in the microwave, I automatically went over to the TV to turn it on. 

I didn't actually do it. But my finger was on the power button. That was when I realized what I was doing. It was like I suddenly woke up and my memory snapped back into place. Oh yeah. I'm not doing that anymore. It wasn't hard to walk away, but I did get a sudden, instant feeling of boredom and a little disappointment. 

Saturdays are boring. Usually only two things happen on Saturdays--sleep and Netflix. So, today, having been finished with the sleeping half of my day, I automatically turned to the other. When it was unavailable, I had no idea what to do. 

I ended up turning to the computer. The next best thing, right? I got on facebook, played some games on my phone, and all together wasted time just like I would've been if the TV was on. Granted, we all need some of those moments--times when we are doing absolutely nothing, just relaxing after a long week. But after sleeping as long as I did, I really should have no need of such inactivity. I was--am--merely being lazy. 

Which is the exact thing I was wanting to change about myself by doing this challenge. Yes, it is only Day Three and obviously habits do not break that easily, but I am a little disappointed in myself. It's only Day Three and I've already ran out of things to do? I'm already bored with my life without TV? Isn't that just a little...pathetic? 

Maybe so, but that is, I remind myself, what I am changing. There will be days like this, when there is no one to hang out with, and seeming nothing at all to do but sit on my rump. But, just like a bad craving, I need to power through it. So, in order to combat these feelings of boredom and listlessness, I am going to name off a few things I can be doing instead of sitting here. 

1. Exercising. I could go for a walk. Or get on my treadmill. Either way, I'd be doing something productive. It would be activity very literally combating my laziness, which is the goal, right? 

Well, what if I don't really feel like exercising? It's not exactly mentally challenging, though it is definitely physically so. So what are my other options? 

2. Paint. It was my original intention for the day, anyway. I wanted to get some canvas or wood or something and just paint. Didn't matter what I painted or if it was any good, I was just going to take brush to canvas (or whatever I happened to be painting) and get out some creative energy.

But I am actually kind of broke until payday next week, and can't afford canvas. I could paint on paper, or paint over an old canvas, but somehow it doesn't have the same pull, the same joy. 

3. Write. This is a similar activity in that it uses creativity. I don't need to buy anything to write, I have plenty of anything I might need. I could let myself get wrapped up in a character, in her story, and write until sunset and beyond. 

The problem being that I am actually suffering from a bit of writer's block, fictionally speaking. I can't get more than a few pages out before I decide it sucks and toss it. 

4. Shopping. There are sidewalk sales going on this weekend, which means awesome sales. There is also a new bookstore open at the mall, which makes me incredibly happy. I could drive up to the mall and shop, then grab dinner. 

But, that brings me back to the whole broke thing.... which also rules out a few other things I could do, if I were not monetarily challenged. Not to mention I was just out shopping last night and spent money I didn't have on both clothes and books. I don't really need anything shopping wise. 

But the list is a good start. Actually, I should probably start with a shower. 

Note: Day two- I went out with my friend, Nichole, to dinner (Mexican food!) and then went shopping. We ended up back at my place and talked until 11:30 at night. It was a good night. 

Day One

Today I got a haircut. I know, not exactly "Wow!" but hey, its the little things, right?

But actually, a haircut to me is not exactly little. My hair grows pretty slow (I've been growing it out for over a year and it's only about 2 inches longer than it was before) which means that when I decide to cut it, I better like because I'm going to be stuck with it for some time.

When I was in a car accident Freshman year of college, my head hit the rear view mirror, and the glass cut part of my hair incredibly short. It didn't grow long enough to lay flat for a year, and it was several more years before it was completely normal again.

But I digress. The point, I got a hair cut and I thought it was a big deal. Notice the word thought added here. I thought it was a big deal. I hemmed and hawed and worried about it for a few weeks before I actually did it--just ask Karlee! I wanted to get bangs, but I wasn't sure if I should or if it would look good or if it would be too much work or--or a million other silly reasons!

I am a worrier and over-thinker. I may have a creative mind in general, but I tend to overthink the littlest decisions and worry over the stupidest. But I wanted bangs, and I had a coupon for a free haircut--shout out to Larissa Munson at Belle Beaux Salon in Wamego!--so, finally, yesterday I ripped off the band-aid and scheduled an appointment for this afternoon.

And I can honestly say I am glad I did it. I had a picture ready on my phone for what I wanted, and Larissa suggested a small change from all across bangs to side swoop (better suited for me, she said, because of my cow lick, which would make all across bangs difficult to train right). In the end, I love it!

Granted, it took me a bit to get used to it. I sat in my car staring at my reflection in the little visor mirror picking it apart. The bangs are too short. They don't lay right. It makes my face look fat. It's uneven. Why does this side lay this way but the other side lay that way?

But none of it was even true. I was just looking for reasons to not like it so I would feel like all my worrying wasn't for nothing. But I was wrong. Larissa did an awesome job, and it looks fantastic and doesn't make my face look fat, nor is it uneven or the bangs too short.

But why do I do this--look for reasons to not like something? Just because something is outside of my comfort zone or outside of my "box" of my life, doesn't mean it will be bad. It can actually be good!

But this is how I've been living my life. I wanted to find reasons for my haircut to be bad so I could talk myself into going back to my same old never-leave-my-couch life. Because if a little thing like bangs couldn't go right, what was the point of trying anything more?

The before and after of my haircut today! 

On the flip side, if I was worrying over nothing about my hair, what else am I worrying about that isn't worth it? Being at the start of this journey, it's a good question to ask. What else am I avoiding because I am overthinking it, or because I don't want to venture out of my comfort zone? Things like eating alone at a restaurant, striking up a conversation with a cute stranger, or learning something new--all of these things I want to venture into in the next 100 days.

But today, I am starting off slow with new hair. End result rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

I will admit, however, that it is only day one and I am already getting restless. All I want to do right now is reach over for the remote and turn on an episode of Bones or Doctor Who (yes, I'm a nerd!). I am trying really hard not to do so. If I can't go one day, how can I go 101? Starts with the first step, I guess, right?

I have music going to fill the silence. I found an old iPOD awhile back and I made a new playlist with some old favorites I forgot I had. It's been fun listening to Selena Gomez, Frank Sinatra and Taylor Swift back to back!

 But still, I am restless. I did some cleaning--a general tidying, really--but what I really want is to be lazy and watch TV. But I can't let myself do that.

So, instead, I will close my laptop and open up one of the books I got at the library today. I think I'm going to start with The Assassin's Curse by Cassandra Rose Clarke.

So far so good. ...I think.

An Introduction

How does one start these sort of things? By saying "hello" or giving you a three-page background on my life thus far? I feel like neither of those are quite right. So I'm going to jump right into it.

I am doing a self-imposed challenge. For 101 days, I will not watch TV, which includes Netflix, regular television, and/or movies (with exceptions--but we'll get to that). That is the basic foundation of this entire endeavor.

My purpose for such a challenge is this: I waste way too much time on my rump watching TV. I get home from work and one of the first things I do is turn on the television, usually flipping on Netflix. This is followed by a marathon of episodes of whatever my current show-craving happens to be. Recently, it has been Bones. While TV in itself is not a bad thing, it becomes a problem when it is in excess, as it has become for me.

(I'm about to give a background, but I will try to make it short, and not three pages.)

I am not skinny. I am overweight, to put it nicely. I have been trying to lose weight for the last--well, forever, but it never quite takes. I have two major problems. One, I love food. Plain and simple. Two, I am lazy. Seriously, sinfully lazy. Like I said, I get home from work (which happens to be around 4:30 in the afternoon) and sit on my rear on the sofa until 9 or 10, at which point I go to bed, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.

But health is not my only reason. Not really. I don't do anything. I have no life, if I am completely honest. Recently, my family sort of bombarded me with suggestions of joining an online dating site (oh yeah, I'm single). When I expressed my dislike of such things, my father commented as follows (roughly):

"Megan, you would have to actually go somewhere in order to meet someone."

This hurt. I, of course, responded with an argument how I do go out and see people, and in fact I see people every day at work. (I'm a teller). He said it didn't count, but I insisted that I do, in fact, see people.

That was a lie. Well, not a complete one. I do see people, just not as often or as much as I made it seem. I did not, technically, say anything that wasn't true. But I did exaggerate it a bit.

Anyway, this got me thinking. I really don't do much on a daily basis. Every once in a while, yes, but in general, not really.

So, to sum up, I really have no life, and my family bluntly pointed that out to me the other night.

Flash over to my drive to work this morning listening to KLOVE radio. They talk about this girl, Michelle, I believe, who spent 100 days conquering her fears. She did things she would normally avoid out of fear. They were not always big things, but that was her focus for those 100 days.

This, obviously, led me to the idea that, hey, I could do that too. Granted, I have a lot of fears to conquer, yes, but I felt pulled to something else instead.

The challenge, therefore, is two-fold really. On the one hand, as I mentioned, I will not watch TV for 101 days. With today, July 23rd, as Day One, that puts Day 101 at October 31, 2015. I will still allow myself social media and internet stuff, obviously. I am also allowing one movie per week, with an option for exceptions (meaning a second movie in the same week) for special occasions.This would include a movie night with a friend, or a birthday, etc. I am allowing this because it counts as social interaction and not just sitting alone doing nothing.

Which brings me to the second part of my two-fold challenge. I want to use the time I am freeing up to do things for myself--to do things that make me happy that I currently don't make/find time for. All those art projects that are half done, or still ideas in my head; the stack of unread books; the unwritten novel waiting for me on my laptop. It would also include productive things like cleaning, exercising, and, as I mentioned, social interaction.

I want to expand my horizons. I want to make myself happy. I want to love my life. I want to find myself. As a meme on Facebook so accurately said, I need to learn to love life alone before I can expect to share it with anyone else. But, to clarify, finding love is not the purpose of this. Though, if it becomes an added perk, I will not be opposed!

So, in an effort to be dramatic, and maybe a little inspirational...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Never put off for tomorrow what I can accomplish today.
Live. Laugh. Love.
Etc.

Here goes!